The Secret Diary of Manchester Weather
Feeling sad today. I feel like everyone talks about me behind my back. They mention me in literally every conversation. Don’t they know I have feelings too? No one understands me. It’s not my fault I suffer from a temperate oceanic climate coupled with high humidity which is exacerbated by the surrounding hills.
Feeling sad today. I wish they’d accept me for who I am. I mean it’s not like I ever rebel or misbehave badly. Rarely even a thunderstorm. And they don’t appreciate my creativity. I mean how many other Weathers can do horizontal rain? I’m a visionary and they can’t see it. But that might be because of the clouds.
Feeling sad today. I just don’t get people. They know what I’m like, and yet they all refuse to buy an umbrella. Even when I’m feeling really bad, the men never wear a jacket when they go clubbing, and the women must have heaters in their knickers, because they’re barely wearing anything else while they’re screaming “Chlo-ehhhhhhh” at each other in the street at 3am.
Feeling sad today. I don’t care if it’s summer and they want to sit by the canal with a beer. They never take my feelings into consideration. Some old woman saying “When I was a girl it never rained at this time of year.” Doesn’t she know I’m going through changes? GOD.
Feeling happy today! I think everything is going to be alright. Let the sunshine in. Look at the family having a picnic in the park. Squirrels scampering from tree to tree. So cute with their bushy tails. A busker setting up his guitar in the town centre. I wonder what he’ll play…
Wait. Is that… oh god, no. No no no.
“Too-day is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you…
Every time. Why can’t they move on? It’s like they don’t know there’s other music. Come on, High Flying Birds at least. I swear to God If he plays The Smiths next I am going to flip my shit.
“Take me out…tonight.”
Alright, that’s it. Fucking snow storm. See how you like your delayed trams. Football cancelled as well. I HATE EVERYONE.